wake up
crawl out of bed
open my agenda what am i gonna do today to “take care”?
my art supplies are scattered on the floor
discarded poem, long - lost words
desperation and despair washing my spirit away.
Locked in my apartment,
I pour the life I could have had into the wind,
hoping it disappears.
Could or should?
Tik tik tik tik - time is running out.
as it slips by, I become Alice in Wonderland.
I can’t quite explain it.
the clock ticking scaring away the will to move.
I whisper:
“it
doesn’t
matter.”
But it does, in the end it always does.
if it doesn’t matte - it doesn’t hurt.
(but it does)
I'd rather watch the waves hit the shore,
sleep pulls at my eyelids,
and I’d let my thoughts drift.
I'd lay there careless, let my mind empty out.
wave after wave, thought after thought.
The sun could vanish, and I wouldn’t flinch.
Perhaps only the loneliness of the moonlight would wake me.
Still careless. No clues. Still lost.
I’d gaze at the stars, giving them names of my own —
whispering into the dark:
'Would you take me with you?”
When I wake,
I remember:
I'm not laying on the sand.
I’m not listening to waves.
i’m in my bed,
of course I am.
So i write, again,
about the life I could
-- should - have had.
i’m not the sun,
i’m just an unknown star.
it
doesn’t
matter
despite how many times I say it,
it still hurts.
my heart aches.
Beautiful words
Beautiful 😍